Gwyneth Said "Come to Dinner": Nobody Laughed But Her
Marie Antoinette at least had the excuse of not knowing what bread cost.
Rumour Has It | *Dua Mifsud*
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Gwyneth Paltrow invited Sam Altman to dinner on the internet, the way someone who has never had to worry about anything invites someone who has never had to worry about anything to discuss things the rest of us cannot afford to worry about — and then, when the internet called her the most out-of-touch celebrity alive, she responded with something even more divisive. Marie Antoinette at least had the excuse of not knowing what bread cost. Gwyneth knows. She just finds it charming.
Meanwhile, someone at Jordyn Woods's wedding wore a dress so sheer that the paparazzi did the work the dress couldn't, and now the internet is having a full constitutional crisis about whether this counts as a wedding guest fail or a power move. The divide is real. Half the comments are clutching pearls. The other half want the designer's name. Both halves are right.
Gracie Abrams has officially addressed the Taylor Swift feud rumours in one statement, which is either the end of the story or the beginning of a much more interesting one depending on how well you've been paying attention. The fact that she had to say anything at all tells you how loud the whispers had gotten.
Khloé Kardashian executive produced a show about her inner circle called *The Girls*, admitted on camera that she regretted doing any of it, and still showed up for the press tour. That is a level of professional discipline that deserves its own spin-off. The show has an October premiere date. The regret, presumably, is already in post-production.
The Ariana Grande situation is the one worth watching. People have noticed that the "Petal" music video bears a striking resemblance to an indie artist's visual work, the internet has gone into its usual formation about who copied whom, and the indie artist responded in a way that apparently blew everyone's mind — which means either she was gracious in a way nobody expected or she wasn't, and both outcomes are being weaponised in real time. Hollywood keeps trying to pit women against each other and keeps being surprised when women refuse the script. The real story is never the copy. It's who gets to be the original.
Tom Hanks did not speak to Ryan Fitzpatrick at the Kelce wedding. This information is being reported as news. That it is being reported as news tells you everything about what a Kelce wedding reception looks like from the outside — a place where a former NFL quarterback expected acknowledgement from a two-time Oscar winner and was simply not given it. Tom Hanks was busy. Being Tom Hanks.
The machine keeps running. The whispers keep circulating. I keep reading.
